I'll Hate Myself Even After I Die

[ The Competition - Kimya Dawson ]

Made me a cup of coffee
And poured it on my head
Thought I would scream n burn
But there was nothin that I said

I'm so fuckin' selfish
I'm so full of pretense
Whenever I strangle myself
I never end up dead

I got a few friends
That I don't deserve at al
Well I don't care
If they are there
Cuz I'm busy with my fall

When I was young
I did the one thing
I shouldn't have done
But I was naive
And starved
So I still carry on

I hit myself once with a rusted crowbar
From then i made sure
It would never be in my car

Never do I give up
When doin' wrong
Can't control myself
For I am too strong

Hit me hard with stones
I want myself swollen
But swollen is all i'll be
Can never bury my bones

No matter what I do
I wake up everyday
Drink a glass of water
And go the same old way

Everyone is doin' somethin or the other
And I am sittin false
Feelin' jealous for the first time
Someone kick me in my balls

I am so damn selfish
I cooked myself up
But I couldn't relish

I dream about bein' torn apart
But dreams never come true
All I do is think a while
and have sex with you

Whoever is readin'
What I am writin'
I'll screw your eyes
And you'll
Never see your next of kin

I want to kill myself
I can no more help
I'm a useless fuck
I've given al my luck

For al the ones who care
For al the ones who don't
I don't give a fuck
So let me stay alone

I say that I hate to lie
But lie is all I do
And Life without f
Is a lie really too

Maybe I'd get better
At holdin' my breath
maybe I'd just hang up
Before the main event

I need a perfect day
I have so much to say
But I am a coward inarticulate
So I'll just hate myself today
I'll just hate myself today.....